I received a panic text from my daughter-in-law recently, asking my opinion concerning a subject matter that I happen to be an expert on.
Seems there was a huge debate in her office and she had to use her connections outside of her professional realm to resolve the issue so her office could get back to running proficiently.
So she asked, “Would you prefer to have 5 boys or 5 girls? In your experience, being a “boy-mom” or a “girl-mom”, which would be more challenging?”
Well, my first thought was 5 is challenging, but knowing that she was needing an immediate answer to this probing question (and since I was sitting at a stop light), I quickly answered back, “Boys are more challenging.”
Ok, I can already hear all those boy-moms out there disagreeing with me, because I’ve heard this discussion a dozen times before, as I’m sure you have. So, it appears that boy-moms seem to be relieved that they didn’t have to mess with all the girly-ness of having a girl, as much as girl-moms are relieved that they didn’t have to mess with all the boy-ness of having a boy.
So I thought I would settle the debate right here, right now.
Being a Mom is challenging-period! No matter which gender you are blessed with, parenting is difficult.
I mean, there are a few parents out there that may have been fortunate enough to raise one child who did everything on schedule and perfectly, I don’t know any, but the world is full of miracles so there may be a perfect child or parent out there. However, most of us have had “normal” kids who have used up all of our intellect and resources just to get them to first grade, and then they become teenagers and it became a whole new ballgame.
Fortunately, God makes sleeping babies so adorable that most women, at one time or another, find themselves thinking, “Oh, babies are so adorable I want to be a mom.”
However, when that woman brings home that beautiful, blissful bundle of joy she unwraps a fragile, frightening farrago of emotions (had to look that one up, there are not that many “f” words out there).
Boy or girl, it doesn’t matter, none of them come with a set of directions, none of them come with an on or off button, none of them come without financial, emotional, and relational stress.
Girl or boy, it doesn’t matter, every one of them is different in their unique ways. One may be pliable and obedient, and the other strong-willed and obstinate. They all come with their own set of unchartered challenges.
By the time you get your infant into a routine that is cohesive to the rest of your family, they do an awful thing and become a 2-year-old. It’s fortunate babies aren’t born 2 years old. I’m confident that people would stop having kids if their baby started out as a 2-year-old.
But then that toddler, boy or girl, gets past the terrible two’s and becomes a walking talking bundle of “Why?”
“Let’s pick up our toys, so we can go to the store.”
“Why?”
“Eat your sandwich and you can have a cookie.”
“Why?”
“Let’s give Daddy a hug so we can go to bed.”
“Why?”
And about the time you think you’re going to go crazy if you hear one more “Why?” the inquiring 3-year-old grows to be an independent, semi-self-reliant part of the family, with only an occasional outburst of misunderstanding or emotional meltdown. But don’t get too comfortable, all too soon that girl or boy becomes a teenager, and we all know why God didn’t make babies teens when they are born.
Teens have their own set of troubles and challenging conflicts. I’ve always assumed it was God’s way of preparing us mothers (and dads) to embrace the separation of our children. By the time we go through a few years of them being teenagers, we are ready to allow them to go off on their own and prove themselves to be the self-reliant, independent, responsible adult we have always wanted them to be.
Kind of like going to the dentist and allowing him to do whatever needs to be done to rid you of the throbbing, infected tooth that has plagued you for way too long and the only thought you have in your mind is that you have to get rid of the pain and get back some sanity. No matter what the cost, no matter what the procedure. Just rip it out!
So, yeah, raising kids is challenging no matter which gender. But speaking from a point-of-view of a mom of 9 (5 girls, 4 boys) and over 40 years of raising babies, I can honestly say I wouldn’t trade my experience for anything in the world.
I love being “just a mom”!
