Tag Archives: marriage

Life With A Knight

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Once upon a time

 

2bdf0-dreamstime_xs_castle

There was a certain peacefulness in the air, the rustle of the autumn leaves, the damp smell of a recent shower, and the gentle breeze wafting through her graying hair. Although it had not always been this way, at

this very moment, she was content. Life’s vanishing moments played in the recesses of her memories. She found herself smiling at the remembrances of her beautiful children, and a small tear escaped down her cheek. Quiet laughter exhaled through her lips thinking of all the impractical moments they also had shared. There had been wearisome times, of course, but they didn’t matter anymore, and were always quickly forgotten.

But as she reclined in the Meadow of Time Past, there were other memories that would never be forgotten, these memories were of the Knight. Not a large champion, as some would think of a knight, but a common man of high character and moral tenacity. And although her Knight no longer possessed the strength of a horse or the agility of a lion, his other striking traits remained. The way his blue eyes pierced deep into her soul, knowing what must be said or done to heal her troubled heart; or the way he continually stood before her, protecting her from impending danger. The Knight was a man of truth, morality, and grit. There were no others like him in the land, aside from his posterity.

She always felt safe when he was near. As they battled the giants, the dragons, and fought through the dangers that surrounded them, he led the way. The Knight always had his sword drawn. Even at times of peace when she would ask him to put it into his sheath, he would never give in to her insistent pleas, knowing that danger always lurked nearby.

Day after day, the Knight’s calloused hand would close around the dainty hand of the Lady, as they battled up the hill. Together they faced giants, dragons, and evil authorities. There were times of celebration, tragedy, and even abandonment, but they always faced these times together and their hearts became as one. He, leading the way, wielded his sword at all danger, and she was safely protected in his shadow.  And now, nearing the end of the battle, she knew the Knight had done his job well. She was confident that one day when he stood before his Lord, he would hear him say, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant.”

 

shield

Although I am not foolish enough to think that my life is perfect and that my husband is my knight in shining armor, I am wise enough to know that I have a great family and a great husband. He’s not perfect, but neither am I, but we have become perfect for each other.

But since today is our 38th anniversary, I wanted to let The Farmer know that I do appreciate his leadership in our family. And no, we haven’t fought any literal giants, dragons, or evil authorities (well maybe evil authorities), but we have fought against the Giants of Debt, Doubt, and Despair. And continually slay the dragons named Sickness, Indecision, and Busyness.

But together, and with God’s guidance, and the sword of Wisdom, we have survived. We have throttled the statistical dragon of divorce and infidelity, we have killed the giant of non-communication, and we have nourished the meadows of Love, Contentment, and Family.

 

Happy Anniversary, Farmer!

 

 

Date Night With The Farmer

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One of the most important aspects in a good marriage is communication. When two people are coming from different backgrounds, different lifestyles, and different traditions, it takes a lot of communication and hard work to come together as one flesh.

Ideally, some matters are discussed and settled before marriage: where to live, go to work, go to school, go to church, spend holidays, maybe the number of children that you will have or not have. Then life happens. Reality starts to set in and all the difficulties that go along with it. Plans change, goals are reset, and dreams die and come back alive in other forms. Sometimes couples start drifting away from where they started until they get to a point that they don’t even know the person that’s sitting across the breakfast table from them.

Most husbands and wives live in separate worlds. The Farmer and I certainly do. He has always gone off to a world that I hear about often and see occasionally. He works 40 minutes away from home and after a 40-hour week of hard, physical labor, he comes home to work on the farm, or fix a vehicle, or fix some other physical or mental difficulty that occasionally raises its ugly head.

Although there was a time when I would pack the kids up and go off to a job, fortunately, I stay at home and keep the home fires burning (sometimes at a ferocious roar). My world is filled with home school, child rearing, and housekeeping. Occasionally I am the farmhand or the riding boss.

Like most couples, there are very few and precious moments that we get to spend together, so years ago The Farmer and I set aside a sacred day and time apart for just the two of us. It is at this time that we come together and reclaim the time that is so needed in order to maintain a oneness between us. His world and mine come together. Sometimes it causes a tornado, but more often it brings unity. We adjust our goals, or reset our family’s GPS, or simply recover our sanity.

Saturday night is our official date night. We hold it as a sacred time. Most activities get pushed aside for this evening. And if something happens and we can’t make a Saturday date night, we do it on Friday or Sunday night. We haven’t always had this, but we realized early that it was a much needed ritual to keep us on the same track. Having a large family often makes it difficult to find babysitters, so we didn’t go out often in the early years, but as soon as our kids were able to stay at home by themselves, we made date night a priority.

So what is a date night with The Farmer like? Well, I’m glad you asked. Last Saturday when we went out, we recorded a moment by moment timeline of our date.  In case you haven’t been paying attention to my blog, we are a farming family who have raised nine kids on one income  (well almost, three of them are still teens). So our date nights are usually pretty cheap. We do have the occasional anniversary or birthday celebration, but most of the time we are very frugal. It has always been our decision to go frugal and often, as opposed to splurging and not being able to go out every week.

 

McDonald's
We usually eat in the truck, so our first stop is McD’s to get a 32 oz. soda for $1.00

If we do go into a restaurant, we drink water because soda is crazy expensive in restaurants!

Jack in the Box
On this particular Saturday, we decided to eat at Jack’s house

I did blow my diet, but was rewarded with a coupon for a free taco on my next visit. 🙂

Often we go up town to eat. We love to sit and watch traffic pass.

We often discuss the history of the town, or imagine how it was back then.

MFA building
Of course we have to drive past the MFA and…

cannon in town square
The cannon in the town’s square “Cool Hand Luke”

Then we drive around looking at…

Other people’s fields, other people’s cows, and other people’s farms…

Of course, coming home is truly our favorite part of the date.

Now that it’s nice outside, we are able to spend the rest of the evening together on the front porch.